nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
