So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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