he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
