She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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