youre lurking in front of me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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