you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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