why didn't you poke me back
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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