hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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