I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I AM VODKA MAN
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
