everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
