ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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