Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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