he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
