and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
