i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
