YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he high fived his dick after we had sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
