they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
