wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
