She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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