drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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