omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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