Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
