You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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