you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
