our cab driver is having phone sex.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
