i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
