Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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