I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
