Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i've created a new STD.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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