u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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