im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
