Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize