And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
