People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize