I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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