i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
