do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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