Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
