As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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