I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
be right there i have to get my cape
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
