Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
