Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
