lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
