how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
