Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize