so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
