You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
