like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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