I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
