my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
