I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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