some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
