Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
