Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize