i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
