New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
