i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
