I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
