I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
