i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
