Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
