I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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