i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
