fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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