she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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