why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
