Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize