If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
