I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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