I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
