oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
