What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
