i think my tv is drunk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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