He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
