Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
