you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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