hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
