Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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