Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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