Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize