I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
