i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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