why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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