she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
