I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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