All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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