Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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