oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
