you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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