In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
